Saturday, November 13, 2010

games australians play

In my time thus far, I have encountered four favorite Australian pastimes.  I'm sure there are others, but these are the ones my co-workers prefer to play.  (Okay, so they might not all be entirely Australian.  They might be entirely idiosyncratic.  But I've definitely witnessed Australians playing all four, so here we go.)  Ahem.

1.  Pegging

To play this game, you need but one piece of equipment:  a peg.  (AKA, a clothes pin)  The object is simple:  to attach the peg a person without them realizing they've been pegged. Then you get to stand around and laugh silently to yourself until they discover their accessory, and then begin the cycle again by pegging someone else.  Fun, huh?  Unless you're the one pegged.

A variation on pegging is coat hangering.  While not an official Olympic game, it is also highly entertaining.  One plays coat hangering when one has no peg but does happen to have a coat hanger.  Rare as this may be, it has been known to happen.  The figurative cake is best taken when, at the end of a fruitful night of coat hangering, said hanger is attached securely to the back of a man on a scooter stopped at a red light.  His face may never be seen, but everyone can rest assured that it must have registered well into the scale of "staggered" when returning home and discovering he had somehow acquired a clothes hanger on his day's journeys.


Be careful:  you never know when you may be pegged.  Posing is dangerous as it opens you up to all sorts of inclement opportunistics.


Caveat:  while presumably this game could also be played with lingerie, it's a bit risky for situations like the former.  While it'd be hard enough explaining a clothes hanger to Mrs. Scooter Man, think of trouble lingerie could cause.  On second thought, maybe don't.

Pegging is commonly played at the pub or work Christmas parties.

2.  Ghosting

Ghosting is one of my favorite Australian games.  From what I can gather, it might have stemmed from Hamish and Andy, though whether they're the true originators or simply highly practiced perpetrators I don't actually know.  (Hamish and Andy, incidentally, are two well-known Gen Y Australian comedians who feature on TV and radio shows quite regularly.)

To ghost, one simply follows someone else (usually a stranger) at slightly too-close quarters for as long as possible.  The ghosting stops when the other person realizes they're being followed or the ghoster gets bored and gives up or, generally, if the person crosses the street.  An average ghost probably lasts about 8 seconds, though they vary considerably.

Double ghosting (two people ghosting two people) is possible, and also highly amusing.


Caveat:  to be specific, ghosting works best when you're sitting outside the pub and can ghost random people walking down the street.

Ghosting is commonly played at the pub or work Christmas parties.

3.  Helicoptering

I believe helicoptering is the most idiosyncratic of the Australian games list.  I know only Australian who regularly helicopters, and even she has taken a significant break from it of late.  Evidently I flail too much for it to feel safe and successful.

Let me back up:  helicoptering is a sport wherein one (the helicopterer) picks up another (the helicopteree) back to back, leans forward and spins in circles, thus creating a helicopter-like configuration.  It's lots of fun, but evidently too dangerous to pursue fully when performed on 4th floor balconies.


Caveat:  the helicopterer generally requires certain amounts of alcohol well in advance.


Helicoptering is commonly played at the pub or work Christmas parties.


4.  The citizen's arrest

Performed by citizens on citizens for citizens.  For the good of society.  Whenever you see trouble a-brewing, it is an Australian's civic duty to step forward and stop it by conducting a citizen's arrest.


Caveat:  I have yet to see one, but I hear they're truly not to be missed.

Citizen's arrest is commonly played at the pub and work Christmas parties.

5.  The free ride

The free ride is a game wherein Australians attempt to hop on a hop-on-hop-off tour bus without paying.


Caveat:  I have to see one executed completely, but the first half is highly amusing.


The free ride is commonly played at the pub and work Christmas parties.

6.  Slotting

Slotting is my most recently learned Australian game, and it is among the most amusing off all.  It has nothing to do with slot machines (a very different Australian pastime), but everything to do with cold, hard cash.  It occurs when someone squats down and exhibits a portion of their anatomy most often associated with plumbers.  The surreptitious slotter makes his or her move and deposits a coin (preferably of a lower denomination) in the available slot.

Caveat:  it is imperative, once retrieved, that the coin involved gets placed in a position where everyone is aware of its recent journey.  Table tops are not acceptable locations, except at the pub, where anything goes.

Slotting is commonly played at the pub or work Christmas parties.

And so, those are the favorite Australian games.  Perhaps you'd heard they like cricket or rugby or that other kind of rugby or surfing or something.  Well, they might, but they've got nothing on these games (which, incidentally, are traditionally played more often in summer).  Go ahead, try them.  They're lots of fun.  See, look, what's that?  My gosh -- I do believe you've got a peg on your hem.

1 comment:

Laetitia :-) said...

Sydney is a strange, strange place.