the adventures of the little lost jacket

This is a choose your own adventure story.  I've never written one before so it might be a bit off.  But nevermind.  Just give it a go and have some fun, okay?  Cool.

So, imagine you are a little jacket.  A cute, charcoal gray little jacket.  Size ten (Australian, not American) from Esprit with cute little buttons and a cute little tie around the waist.  Why would you want to run away from home?  If it is because you are lonely, go to 1.  If it is because you are bored, go to 2.  If it is because you are undervalued, go to 3.  If you don't really want to run away from home but just got lost, go to 4.

1.  You are wrong.  You are not lonely.  You also have a lovely long pink jacket to keep you company.  Go back to the beginning.

2.  You are a bored little jacket.  You don't have much to do all day.  You just hang around and wait for life to happen.  Nobody talks to you.  Nobody plays with you or tells you jokes or even reads the paper to you.  What else was there for you to do?  If you contemplated tucking yourself in a suitcase bound for Brazil, go to 5.  If you thought about a career in politics, go to 6.  If you were just playing an elaborate practical joke the whole time, go to 7.  If you were slightly suicidal, go to 8.

3.  You poor undervalued little jacket.  You work hard most days to keep Kim warm and dry and get very little thanks.  She relies on you and never sends thank you cards, much less chocolate.  No wonder you wanted to run away.  But where did you want to go?  If Starbucks, go to 9.  If Max Brenner, go to 10.  If Coles, go to 11.  If the train, go to 12.  If church, go to 13.  If you didn't actually care where but just wanted to go somewhere, go to 14.

4.  Poor little jacket!  You were so lost!  You were sad and lonely and missed Kim lots but didn't know what to do.  You didn't have a cell phone to call.  You didn't have lungs to talk even if you could call, come to think of it.  You just lay about and waited and waited and waited.  Finally, weeks later, a very nice woman named Megan found you and she, fortunately, had both lungs and a cell phone to call Kim.  You were reunited at last!  A very happy ending!

5.  Adventuresome little jacket!  You have must have been bitten by the same travel bug Kim was.  You plopped yourself away in the suitcase and shipped yourself off to Rio where you had the most amazing time for nearly a month.  After a bit you got a bit too sunburned, though, and decided it was probably time to come home to roost.  But you didn't know the way.  If you jumped on the first plane back to Sydney you could find, go to 15.  If you just didn't know what to do, go to 4.

6.  A career in politics?  Are you crazy?  You might go wishy in the washy, but you weren't cut out (ha!) to be a politician.  Go back to 2.

7.  You are a very precocious jacket.  Kim must have been rubbing off on you.  Fairly understandable as she wore you so often.  Be careful not to pick up any more of her bad habits, and for goodness' sake behave yourself on April 1.  If you are still playful and want to play more jokes, go to 16.  If you are tired of jokes and just want to get found again, go to 4.

8.  You weren't suicidal.  You are a cute little jacket.  Cute little jackets are not suicidal creatures.  Go back to 2.

9.  You sat sipping lattes for awhile, but then Starbucks closed.  You didn't stay.  Go back to 3.

10.  You ate yourself into a state of stupor at Max Brenner.  You suddenly became a size 12 and the cute little tie wouldn't tie around your waist any more.  You felt very sorry for yourself.  Go back to 3.

11.  You wandered around Coles for a bit, but it really wasn't very exciting.  Go back to 3.

12.  The train was grungy.  You were a bit too delicate for it.  Go back to 3.

13.  Church was lovely.  You wanted to stay at church.  So you did.  You stayed and stayed and stayed.  Suddenly you realized it was dark and you didn't know where Kim was.  Go to 4.

14.  You found yourself out, alone in the big, wide world.  It was all very exciting for a little while, but before long you began to miss Kim.  You liked seeing the sights of Sydney, but you were lonely.  Go to 4.

15.  The first plane to Sydney ends up getting rerouted and making a surprise stop in Samoa.  You're adventuresome, though, and don't mind.  Until you finally get back to Sydney and then realize you still don't know how to find Kim.  Go to 4.

16.  Ha!  Joke's on you!  16 is a dead end.  Go back to 7.