air alert!!

I went to Sydney Kingsford Smith airport a week ago and was absolutely shocked. Let me tell you the story.

One of my friends had been overseas for two weeks, and I thought meeting him at the airport with Ben & Jerry's ice cream would be the perfect welcome-home surprise. (See, you really want to be friends with me. I'm an awesome friend.)

So, I went to Manly to purchase some Ben & Jerry's. (The world had neglected to inform me that you can buy it in Neutral Bay. For shame, world, for shame!) All was well and good with the Phish Food (why "Phish" Food? Why not Phish Phood? Or, for that matter, Fish Phood?), though I had a most amusing conversation with the salesgirl wherein she told me I could get a big pint or a little pint. I inquired as to how a pint could, by definition, be big or small and she suddenly got a bit squirmy and said she supposed they were tubs. But who could blame her? Poor girl's grown up knowing nothing but Metric.

Thankfully her knowledge of Phish Food was greater than her knowledge of measurement, and she said that the delicacy could survive about an hour without a freezer. The airport lark was going to take about 2 all up, but I decided to go for it anyway. I even bought a icy bottle of water to keep next to the Phish Food, and goodness knows I stayed chilled enough for the three of us as we all ventured on the Manly ferry and the train to Kingsford Smith.

Upon arriving I was faced with the dilemma of not actually knowing the airline my friend was coming on. Part of the problem with surprises, of course, is that you can't ask too many questions, or they fly right out the window. I knew the flight was due at or about 6:40 and that I'd got a text just before take-off, so the timing was at least reasonably accurate. I also knew he was coming from Melbourne.

There was thankfully only one flight scheduled in from Melbourne within about 15 minutes of 6:40, so I threw my eggs in one basket of wild abandon and camped out at the gate. (I could go through security even without a ticket! With my shoes! Without being strip searched! Go figure!)

I had just enough to sit down and start to get bored in that nervous, what-can-I-do-while-I'm-waiting-but-am-too-excited-to-concentrate-on-a-book sort of way. Thankfully that state is fairly conducive to logical thinking, which led me to remember the ice cream. Which brings me to my shock (as if the lackadaisical security in the last paragraph weren't enough!).

I hopped up to the counter and tried to speak coherently.

"Hi, um, I was just wondering if you could do me a favor? I mean, well, I know it's a little strange and I understand completely if you can't keep things and all, it's just that I have a friend getting off this flight and I want to surprise him with some ice cream and I was just thinking if I wait over there and if he got off the flight and I called him and told him to come here maybe you could give him the ice cream when he got off? It shouldn't be long, the flight gets in any minute now. I know you probably can't and all, but I just figured it never hurts to ask, right?"

I talk rather fast when I'm excited.

The women were initially hesitant, but soon got excited, too, and gave me helpful ideas about where to position the ice cream and where to watch for the plane to come in.

By now all the Americans will certainly have spotted the shock. For any Australians reading, I'll write plainly: the airport staff accepted charge of an object that was not their own. They actually kept the ice cream! Without me standing there! Without making me taste any of it in their presence! I was, as aforementioned, shocked. In a good way.

Mission then accomplished, I sat down and commenced fidgeting aimlessly while the winds over Sydney kicked into high gear and kept all the planes aloft for 40 extra minutes. Thankfully during this time I had another brainwave that, friendly as the airport staff were, they were rather lacking in the area of refrigeration. There was, however, a Gloria Jeans there, too. So, I trotted over to those girls and had a very similar conversation, except it lasted twice as long with about half the level of comprehension, seeing as their English left, in my professional opinion, a lot of somethings to be desired. In the end, I got them to understand that they were to keep charge of the ice cream in the refrigerator (didn't have a freezer) until a guy about yay high came up and asked for Ben & Jerry's.

From there it worked like a dream. The plane landed, I called my friend and excitedly explained that I'd just seen on a friend's facebook that Gloria Jeans in the Qantas terminal were giving away free Ben & Jerry's vouchers and that he really ought to pick some up while he was so close. He sidled right up to the Gloria Jeans and was in process of getting them and himself terribly befuddled when suddenly a light dawned in one of their eyes (Ben & Jerry's!) and they pulled out the bag of Phish Food just as I came up and suggested he take it.

It seems I wasn't the only one shocked at the airport.