to tea or not to tea

I've been trying and trying to come up with an idea for one of those funny, creative columns like Mic Looby and Bill Bryson write, but the only thing I can think of is public transportation. Which I've already written about to distraction, but it is the one constant in my life.

I feel like I should have a story in mind, but I don't. Just several nagging images that I thought would artfully reshape themselves as witty paragraphs, but have succeeded in nothing of the sort. I was going to call it quits and say I had writers' block, but I gave myself a deadline of writing this piece and one more by Saturday and time is clearly running out. Thank goodness I'm not terribly strict on myself.

Except really lately I have been. If you don't know me rather well, you may well be surprised, but I can be ridiculously good at being ridiculously strict on myself if there's a good reason, like becoming a mermaid or starting to notice excess baggage in my smile (yeah, right, like I was going to give you a link for that one!).

I'm nearly at the end (huzzah!) of two seriously deprived (and yet, may I report, I do not yet consider myself depraved, except, of course, in the total sense) weeks. I have been going without sugar in my tea.

Perhaps you do not realize what a humongous sacrifice this is. This is either because you do not drink tea or because you have poor taste. Frankly, I see no other alternative.

For these two weeks, I have also given up all sweets except one small piece of chocolate after lunch, as well as anything save fruits and vegetables for dinner. That I can live with. It's the sugarless tea that's driving me mad.

When I lived in England, a friend once told me that if I went for two weeks without sugar in my tea I'd never go back. I tried, and went right back. But that was years ago now, and I thought I'd give it another go. I'm somewhat disturbed that I have no great recollection of the last endeavor except, at the end of it, thinking that I probably could manage without sugar, but just preferred having it. I now know better.

Every cup of tea has been painful, and I have an average of 3-4 cups a day. Missing two sugars each. A co-worker said he once gave up his two sugars for a similar length of time, then immediately raced up to three. I can't say I blame him.

All my co-workers know I've given up sugar in my tea. All my students know. All my Facebook friends know. I'd be putting it on the prayer chain at church, except I think I might just barely manage to manage the last two days. Besides, most the prayer chain's already on Facebook.

I hate to harp, but I must reiterate: I am going for two weeks without sugar in my tea. Have you tried tea without sugar? It's revolting. Fortunately, I have developed a very strong character with regard to revolting tea as, as I mentioned, I have lived in England, which almost guarantees one has learned to stomach revolting tea for the sake of society. Come to think of it, that's probably why the sugar didn't bug me so much then. My tolerance was really quite high.

Take for example the time I was attending a family friend's baby's christening lunch. I was rather young and adventuresome and not yet terribly refined in my tastes and thought I'd be daring and add a sprig of milk to my already honeyed and lemoned tea. The tea curdled, but, not realizing I'd done anything wrong, I forced myself to drink the concoction until my hostess' mother looked over at my teacup and insisted I empty it down the drain, which I initially protested, but soon succumbed.

Nowadays I wouldn't consider myself a tea snob; it's simply that that I like a strong Twining's English (or Irish) Breakfast tea with ample full cream milk put in before the two sugars. Surely that isn't so much to ask? I mean, some days I even prefer Earl or Lady Grey, and, in rare instances, I feel the urge for some white or peppermint tea. Minus the milk, of course.

But now I have soldiered on through 12 (and counting!) very tedious days of taste bud trauma, and am eagerly awaiting Sunday morning's breakfast. Until then I'll be whining on public transportation if anyone needs me.