monopoly money

Myth: Australians use monopoly money.

Fact: Monopoly uses Australian money.

Myth: Pocket change is roughly somewhere between 24 cents and $2.03.

Fact: Pocket change is upwards of $5.

Myth: There are no green Australian bills.

Fact: There are, they're just the $100s, so most of us don't see them all too often.

Myth: The bigger the coin, the greater the value.

Fact: The $2 is the greatest value of coin, yet it's smaller than the $1 coin.

Myth: $1 coins are weird.

Fact: $1 coins are amazing. Particularly when you have lots of them.

Myth: Australians have pennies.

Fact: They don't. Seriously, they took them out of the system long before I arrived. Now everything is rounded to the nearest 5 cent. This is all well and good for government strategies and everything, but it makes balancing your checkbook an absolute nightmare.

Myth: Checks are cool.

Fact: Checks are uncool. In fact, nobody except Americans uses checks.

Myth: Checks are free.

Fact: Your nasty bank will charge you about $1 extra every time you write one. (Well, assuming you give it to someone who then deposits it. Even the nasty bank isn't so nosy as to keep tabs on your private correspondence with the trash can.)

Myth: It's relatively easy to walk into a bank, say, "hey, could I get an extra register?" and walk out with one 30 seconds later.

Fact: You'd be better off trying to get all the money out of the vault.

Myth: You can withdraw money from your own account for free.

Fact: If you go into the bank and ask them to give you your money, they will charge you a service fee. It does not matter if you could have withdrawn the money from the ATM, but only came in so that you could get the money in different denominations in order to take cool photographs of it. The bank will not understand this.


Myth: You should get monthly statements from your bank regarding your account.

Fact: You're lucky to see one once a quarter.

Myth: Kim's favorite bill is the $5, because it's pink.

Fact: I actually like the $10 best, because it has the coolest assortment of colors. (Blue, green and yellow.) The $5 is a close second, and $35 is my favorite amount of money to have because it's the most colorful.

Myth: Only Americans call bills "bucks."

Fact: Australians so love the term so much they apply it not only to their bills, but also their bachelor parties.

Myth: If you owe a friend money, you give them cash.

Fact: If you owe a friend money, they give you their BSB code and you electronically transfer your funds from your netbank account.

Myth: It's nice to put money in the offering at church.

Fact: It's much more convenient and hassle-free to simply transfer funds online, unless you're an American and write those quaint little, what were they called again?

Myth: Church dinners are free.

Fact: Church dinners cost $4.

Myth: Parties are free.

Fact: Parties are free, as long as you bring your own meat, drinks and $5 to pitch in for the rest.

Myth: Taxes are hard.

Fact: Taxes are actually pretty easy to do.

Myth: They'll throw you in jail if you do your taxes wrong.

Fact: There's a lovely little caveat at the beginning of the taxes that insures that as long as you're doing everything as honestly as possible, they won't so much as charge you extra interest if you inadvertently mess the bejeebers out of your taxes.

Myth: The tax office help line staff are nice.

Fact: Who are we kidding? They made me cry.

Myth: You can survive in Australia without cash.

Fact: You need way more cash here than you do in America. First off, things are more expensive. Second, though, there are many, many places that just don't take cash. For example, coffeeshops. Or, there's some situations where you could pay cash, but they'll charge you and extra arm and a leg for it, like taxis.

Myth: You can survive in Australia as long as you've got big bills.

Fact: Although you might need them, too, what you really usually need are smaller ones, for things like a sandwich, a bus ticket or a Big Issue.

Myth: Only despicable cheapskates with no friends don't tip.

Fact: Only despicable cheapskates with no friends don't tip. Neither do Australians. Hmmm.

Myth: Australians like to be polite to cashiers by handing them exact change as often as possible, or at least getting the cents evened up.

Fact: Americans like to be polite to cashiers by handing them exact change as often as possible, or at least getting the cents evened up. Australians could care less.

Myth: You can only get cash from banks and ATMs.

Fact: You can get cash out from grocery stores -- which is, I'm pretty sure, how most people get a lot of their cash.

Myth: You can make a deposit into any ATM, as long as you've got a deposit envelope.

Fact: You can only make a deposit into a "deposit ATM," and good luck finding one of them.

Myth: You can go to a bank.

Fact: You can go to a bank every third Tuesday and most Thursdays between the hours of 10:06 and 11:42 am, but not on public holidays, or the 5th Thursday of the month, or any day within 48 hours of a equinox.

Myth: You can get in and out of a bank in roughly under 20 minutes.

Fact: You can get in an out of a bank in roughly under half a day.

Myth: You can't counterfeit Australian money.

Fact: Goodness, you think I've tried?

Myth: Gambling is illegal.

Fact: Gambling is legal.

Myth: You can't rip Australian money.


Fact: I held this myth very closely for a year and a half, frequently offering a $5 to American friends and insisting that they'd be unable to damage it. And so they were until I passed it around six strapping Americans and suddenly Jess was holding two pieces of a $5 bill. Generally speaking, though, you can't. It doesn't crumple particularly well, either, but easily survives a spin in the washing machine. This is surfer money, people!

Myth: $2.20 for a can of coke is ridiculous!

Fact: $2.20 for a can of coke is normal.

Myth: $3.00 for a candy bar is outrageous!

Fact: $3.00 for a candy bar is normal.

Myth: $9.00 for a slice of cheesecake is only acceptable if you're getting a Chocolate Oreo Mudslide Cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory and someone else is buying.

Fact: $9.00 for an average slice of plain vanilla cheesecake with a perfunctory dollop of vanilla ice cream and no chocolate is normal.

Myth: Kim has never had her paws on $600 AU.

Fact: Wanna bet?