Friday, May 14, 2010

quicko: bathroom humor

Okay, I don't actually have a joke about a toilet, but you've made it this far, you might as well keep reading anyway. What I do have is an extremely insightful note about Americans' restroom sensitivity: we are very sensitive. Not only do we not call it anything so crass as a "toilet," (to which end we have endless euphemisms: the restroom (when in public), the bathroom (when at someone's house), the powder room, the little girls' room, the little boys' room, etc. (As a side note, although we know the meanings of lavatory, water closet and loo, we are extremely unlikely to actually use them, except in jest or very desperate need of a new euphemism.) Furthermore, when we actually make it to the room in question, we (at least the female we) are likely to wish to paper our seats first. To this end, the vast majority of American public restrooms now supply pre-made toilet seat covers to supposedly save time and paper in this age-old process (it dates back at least to my great-grandmother). The covers never actually fit right (thus necessitating even more paper to make up for their discrepancies), but, hey, it's the thought that counts.

All that to say, when you go to the (gasp!) toilet in Australia, you rarely (occasionally, I do admit) find pre-made toilet seat covers ready to go. Now, if you'll excuse, I must go powder my nose.

4 comments:

Regina said...

I actually detest those things and their purpose. The average bottom of a woman's purse usually contains more germs than your average public toilet seat. I mean think about it... how dirty are the backs of one's thighs? Mine are usually enclosed in some sort of pant most of the day while only coming out to potty and sleep. I realize that one might encounter the occasional "sprinkle" left behind on a toilet seat but lets face the music here...how could one "sprinkle" on a seat while your thighs are placed firmly and properly upon it?

In short, I proclaim that it is those who are so afraid of the mess on the seat who are causing the messes of which they are afraid.

Sit on that thought for a while.

Love and kisses, you germy thighed friend,

Gina

KIM said...

Not so!! While I agree that many thighs are clean, I would like to point out that in public toilets the public comes and NOT everyone has clean thighs. Furthermore, lots of unsavory deeds take place in a public toilet, far in addition to the usual expectations. Stomachs feel queasy, little kids have accidents, possums wander in, etc. Furthermore, we must consider that many toilets themselves sprinkle water when flushed and it is unpleasant in the extreme to find one thigh's in contact with such liquid, particularly when one cannot be utterly confident of its previous whereabouts.

In short, I agree that for the most part everyone would be fine, but there are exceptions that creep up and it is most definitely worth the peace of mind to paper the seat and proceed worry-free.

Love and kisses, your pristinely thighed friend,

Kim

Regina said...

Sounds like you potty in some very unsavory places.

Laetitia :-) said...

I was also taught to paper a public toilet seat. I've seen those "all over" covers but have never tried them.

And Regina, the other way to sprinkle is to have a weak bladder - most women with this problem will check that they haven't left something unsavoury for the next user but occasionally there are things that get missed.