American tourist: "I've been in Sydney for three months and still haven't seen a kangaroo."
***
Schoolgirl 1: "Like, did you meet the new girl?"
Schoolgirl 2: "Yeah, her name is Katie but we call her 'Kat-y'."
Schoolgirl 3: "Yeah, she's from America but, like, she's not slutty or anything."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
quicko: bonds
Bonds is the Australian every household sort of brand of underwear. More specialized (I think?) than Marks and Spencer, and probably a little more ... casual. It's certainly no Victoria's Secret, but presumably a bit more affordable.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
quicko: rotting lunches
So even though I have a new job, I still happen to remember a thing or two about my old one. And one of these things is that some people would bring their --carnivorous -- lunches in the morning and not put them in the fridge! They'd just let them sit out all day, and then eat them. They assured me it was fine, no problem, didn't affect them.
Well, if that was the case, you'd just think they'd have had the strength to toss a small paper ball all the way to the recycling box.
Well, if that was the case, you'd just think they'd have had the strength to toss a small paper ball all the way to the recycling box.
Monday, March 28, 2011
quicko: gold coin donation
A common Australian request -- basically it means "give something smallish, but not nothing" seeing as the gold coins are the one and two dollar coins.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
quicko: earth hour
The view from Kirribilli to Circular Quay during Earth Hour (one hour of turning out the lights).
Friday, March 25, 2011
an ode to the best staffroom ever
Today is my last day working with the best co-workers in the world -- so as an ode to the only group I've ever let call me Kimmy (and even Matteo can get away with Kimbo ;) ) -- I've written up a cultural analysis of the staffroom. Enjoy :)
Geography/Habitat
Tasmania: Where I started when I first came. It's the "other" staffroom and a good 4 second walk from the main staffroom. Home to the 6 generally broken and always slow staff computers, as well as, until just last week, a handful of teachers as well. Its teachers tend to be quite close, seeing as they're so very far from everyone else. Hence Tasmania.
Death Row: The first row that was actually named. The name came from Min, a former teacher here, and, at that time, resident morbid philosopher. It had been a dark place of brooding and moody isolation, though has cheered up considerably in recent times. Its teachers are often unwillingly sidled with the chore of removing books thrown on their desks (they abut the bookshelves) and actually organizing (!!) the books when they get so dangerous as to actually bring truth to the row's nomenclature. The last vestige of death in the row was a hung toy wombat, which was hastily removed before the last accreditation inspection. It never would have gone had Min been here.
The Middle Row: The only nameless row, to the best of my knowledge. Full of senior teachers and friendly faces, the middle row is where you find official answers and genuine help. It's cheerful, hardworking and a very good place to be.
The Row of Requirement: My row! I moved here from Tasmania years ago when I became a senior teacher and, though slightly distressed at the time, now know it as home. Named after the Room of Requirement in Harry Potter, our row is amazing at providing for your every and any need. I've got a list somewhere of the things the row has provided, but, off the top of my head, it's things along the lines of chocolate, food, cups of tea, chocolate, staplers, sticky tack, post-its, pens, chocolate, umbrellas, information, lesson ideas, lesson plans (thanks also to Matty of the West End), chocolate, jokes, fun, games, hugs, chococlate, photo ops, blog ideas, moral support, love and chocolate. Pamela was an integral part of the Row in her day, though Jo and Ally are by far the most constant constants in it. Others have come and gone too (the legendary blogger Sam, as well as more recently Yohann and Brad). Special mention does go to my one and only desk buddy (I'd been a lone desker in Tasmania) Matt -- may he one day sink a paper wad actually into the trash while I'm watching!
The West End: Although my row is of course my favorite, I've saved the other of the best for last. I'm an honorary West Ender and it's my other favorite. It's on the far west side of the school and (obviously ... surely this was obvious to you?) takes its name from London's theatre district. Although many of its occupants (I might mention Kaite, Gillian and Alice, among many others) have come and gone, Matty is its one constant. The West End is a delightful place of happiness and glitz. It's where you'll find collages of co-workers past, plenty of pictures and a song and a boogie. It's decorated, be-planted and complete with a non-functioning computer. The West End: "Where we can't make a noun and verb agree if our lives depended on it."
Food
Biscuits: Biscuits are an integral part of life in the staffroom. They appear without fail every Friday at 10 am, at which point there is a mad dash to get your favorites before someone else does. Stockpiling is allowed, provided no one finds out about your stash.
Top of the microwave: Free reign. Any food left is a free for all -- whoever gets it first wins! Food appears reasonably regularly -- though certainly every Friday of week ten when all the classes have had parties full of leftovers.
Tea: As Matty famously put it, if you can't go [to class] without your tea, you might as well not go. Wiser words have rarely been spoken, and we cling to our tea as if our lives depended on it. Fee in particular is the best tea maker of afternoons, generously pouring cup upon cup for everyone within earshot. Desk buddies are also generally good for cups of tea -- particularly in their buddy's last week.
When I first came, Matty and I had regular tea dates every Friday at noon. They followed the famous script:
Kimmy: Tea!! So, Matty, what are you doing this weekend?
Matty: Oh, Kimbo! Absolutely nothing. You?
Kimmy: (insert a million things here)
Matty: I'm exhausted just listening!
Chocolate: As you can see, chocolate really is one of the four major food groups (the others, obviously, being biscuits, top of the microwave and tea). Working in a staffroom of many women, you're always okay to borrow tampons or chocolate should the need arise. Chocolate is by far the most common gift and it flows freely ... nearly every day.
Culture
Recreation: See Games Australians Play.
Massages: Thanks to Rosa, you're never far from a massage when you need one.
Hugs: Abound -- always there when you need one, and of course the official Friday hug from Sharon.
To all my co-workers: I'll miss seeing you every day so much -- but will be seeing you soon!! Lots and lots of love to you all!!
--Kimmy :)
Geography/Habitat
Tasmania: Where I started when I first came. It's the "other" staffroom and a good 4 second walk from the main staffroom. Home to the 6 generally broken and always slow staff computers, as well as, until just last week, a handful of teachers as well. Its teachers tend to be quite close, seeing as they're so very far from everyone else. Hence Tasmania.
Death Row: The first row that was actually named. The name came from Min, a former teacher here, and, at that time, resident morbid philosopher. It had been a dark place of brooding and moody isolation, though has cheered up considerably in recent times. Its teachers are often unwillingly sidled with the chore of removing books thrown on their desks (they abut the bookshelves) and actually organizing (!!) the books when they get so dangerous as to actually bring truth to the row's nomenclature. The last vestige of death in the row was a hung toy wombat, which was hastily removed before the last accreditation inspection. It never would have gone had Min been here.
The Middle Row: The only nameless row, to the best of my knowledge. Full of senior teachers and friendly faces, the middle row is where you find official answers and genuine help. It's cheerful, hardworking and a very good place to be.
The Row of Requirement: My row! I moved here from Tasmania years ago when I became a senior teacher and, though slightly distressed at the time, now know it as home. Named after the Room of Requirement in Harry Potter, our row is amazing at providing for your every and any need. I've got a list somewhere of the things the row has provided, but, off the top of my head, it's things along the lines of chocolate, food, cups of tea, chocolate, staplers, sticky tack, post-its, pens, chocolate, umbrellas, information, lesson ideas, lesson plans (thanks also to Matty of the West End), chocolate, jokes, fun, games, hugs, chococlate, photo ops, blog ideas, moral support, love and chocolate. Pamela was an integral part of the Row in her day, though Jo and Ally are by far the most constant constants in it. Others have come and gone too (the legendary blogger Sam, as well as more recently Yohann and Brad). Special mention does go to my one and only desk buddy (I'd been a lone desker in Tasmania) Matt -- may he one day sink a paper wad actually into the trash while I'm watching!
The West End: Although my row is of course my favorite, I've saved the other of the best for last. I'm an honorary West Ender and it's my other favorite. It's on the far west side of the school and (obviously ... surely this was obvious to you?) takes its name from London's theatre district. Although many of its occupants (I might mention Kaite, Gillian and Alice, among many others) have come and gone, Matty is its one constant. The West End is a delightful place of happiness and glitz. It's where you'll find collages of co-workers past, plenty of pictures and a song and a boogie. It's decorated, be-planted and complete with a non-functioning computer. The West End: "Where we can't make a noun and verb agree if our lives depended on it."
Food
Biscuits: Biscuits are an integral part of life in the staffroom. They appear without fail every Friday at 10 am, at which point there is a mad dash to get your favorites before someone else does. Stockpiling is allowed, provided no one finds out about your stash.
Top of the microwave: Free reign. Any food left is a free for all -- whoever gets it first wins! Food appears reasonably regularly -- though certainly every Friday of week ten when all the classes have had parties full of leftovers.
Tea: As Matty famously put it, if you can't go [to class] without your tea, you might as well not go. Wiser words have rarely been spoken, and we cling to our tea as if our lives depended on it. Fee in particular is the best tea maker of afternoons, generously pouring cup upon cup for everyone within earshot. Desk buddies are also generally good for cups of tea -- particularly in their buddy's last week.
When I first came, Matty and I had regular tea dates every Friday at noon. They followed the famous script:
Kimmy: Tea!! So, Matty, what are you doing this weekend?
Matty: Oh, Kimbo! Absolutely nothing. You?
Kimmy: (insert a million things here)
Matty: I'm exhausted just listening!
Chocolate: As you can see, chocolate really is one of the four major food groups (the others, obviously, being biscuits, top of the microwave and tea). Working in a staffroom of many women, you're always okay to borrow tampons or chocolate should the need arise. Chocolate is by far the most common gift and it flows freely ... nearly every day.
Culture
Recreation: See Games Australians Play.
Massages: Thanks to Rosa, you're never far from a massage when you need one.
Hugs: Abound -- always there when you need one, and of course the official Friday hug from Sharon.
To all my co-workers: I'll miss seeing you every day so much -- but will be seeing you soon!! Lots and lots of love to you all!!
--Kimmy :)
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